Spotting workplace bullying isn't just about observing someone having a bad day or catching the occasional over-the-top remark. It’s about recognising a persistent pattern of targeted behaviour that is quite frankly, unprofessional and unacceptable. Yet, many discussions around this serious issue dance around the key elements that actually define and resolve bullying. Let’s dig into what's often missing from the mainstream narrative.
Workplace bullying isn’t just your garden-variety rudeness because someone had a bad day or hadn't had its coffee yet. It’s the repeated infliction of verbal abuse, psychological intimidation, and deliberate sabotage of one's work performance. Think public humiliation, constant criticism without merit, and exclusion. However, the comments can be disguised as subtle remarks, ridiculing the targeted person to make others laugh at his or her expense. It can be harmless, or unintentional, of course. But when it is persistent, it is simply not unintentional. It has quite the clear intention to ridicule the person, making others lose respect and opening the door to collective bullying behaviour. It often starts from a supervisor, but it can also be from an influential coworker and even from staff at a lower hierarchy level. In New Zealand, it often is disguised as passive aggressive behaviour. No yelling, no direct confrontation takes place, but subtle remarks, diminishing tones, not complimenting or recognizing good work, taking credit for someone else's work, demoting the person, excluding him or her from team activities, but the worst of it all is the condescending tones showing pity. It could take the form of mocking someone for a disability, or even giving him / her instructions designed to put the person in their place: lower. It is NOT professional, collaborative, friendly, inclusive but exactly the opposite. It makes the person feel isolated and like they "don't fit in", which connects with a sense of rejection that will cause anxiety and will develop symptoms that can deteriorate mental and physical health.
The bullied person will start showing signs of distress such as: they can’t concentrate the same at their job, will need to take sick days to see a mental health professional, or the GP. Bullying causes stress and it can affect physical health as well, causing symptoms such as stomach issues, severe tension headaches, feeling like a concussion, missing a period, or having a period for too long (more than a week), vertigo, dizziness, nausea, lack of appetite or overeating (emotional eating), lack of sleep, nightmares, recurrent dreams, talking on your sleep, consuming too much alcohol or drugs on a daily basis, needing medication to cope, or the person won’t be as chatty, or will feel isolated or be isolated by their workmates (such as them going out for lunch and not inviting the bullied person), having a hard time waking up in the morning to go to work.
While some recognise that the victim becomes withdrawn, the broader issue of diminished productivity and deteriorating professional relationships often remains unaddressed. Bullying doesn’t just mess with someone's week, it can derail careers. Shockingly, some still act as if workplace bullying is just a personal problem rather than a legal liability. Perhaps because New Zealand is such an isolated country, many kiwis have not travelled overseas or know any better. They feel this is quite normal and they develop strategies to cope. These include behaviour traits such as passive aggressive retaliation, avoidance, tuning out the bullying remarks, ignoring the issue, transfering to a different team and finally if they can't stand it any longer, just quitting their job and moving on. Many times, they are also made the culprits of the bullying. Similar to domestic violence, where the victim is blamed for being trapped in an abusive relationship.
Organisations love to tout their HR policies, but when it comes to actually supporting bullying victims, the silence can be deafening. Employees need more than just a helpline or an annual workshop; they need active, ongoing support and real actions. It’s one thing to claim a zero-tolerance policy on bullying; it’s another to enforce it. Preventative measures aren’t just nice-to-haves; they are must-haves that include regular training and a genuine review of workplace culture. Of course these only work to the extent they are actually abide by and followed by the organisation, but in generally it tends to be written rubbish and lip service. The processes are also quite strange. The bullied person ends up further embarrassed and harrassed by the very process that is supposed to help the victim.
The culture of turning a blind eye or excusing toxic behaviour as “just their management style” is part of the problem. The long-term psychological impact and career damage can be profound. We’re talking about potential lifelong trauma, stunted professional growth, and even forced exits from careers. And yet, the depth of these consequences is often glossed over. It is entirely unnecessary to run a business and yes, people do need to do their jobs and be supervised. However, a manager does not need to resort to harassment and bullying to provide motivation and encouragement, suggestions for improving performance, or disciplinary action when needed. It comes down to a power trip in most cases, rather than a "management style".
It’s time to move past superficial acknowledgments and get to the heart of the issue. Anything less is just adding insult to injury. Companies need to stop treating workplace bullying like a minor inconvenience and start addressing it for the pervasive and destructive force it truly is. It’s incumbent upon leadership to enforce real change, not just shuffle papers and hope the problem fades or "swipe it under the carpet" but run 5k to honour Mental Health week, which is quite hypocritical and in light of the amount of bullying incidents in New Zealand, it is plain ridiculous. Real action means real accountability - not just for the bullies, but for those who allow the culture that fosters them to fester. It starts with leadership saying NO. We won't tolerate it.
